Day 14: Improved failure. I am slowly making my way out of the rut that I was in. Getting 2nd stage interviews has definitely been a pick-me-up. I’m also meeting up with some old work friends tomorrow and I’m excited to see them.
I’ve realised that the older I get, the more I keep things in. Now days when something serious and negative happens, I tend to keep it to myself and I avoid talking about it. For example being made redundant – I haven’t told most of my friends. The only ones that know are friends that worked with me.
I guess its a psychological thing…I can already anticipate the conversations that I’d need to have if I were to tell my friends about the redundancy and the repetitiveness of those conversations is what I want to avoid. I know those conversations would evolve into repetitive questions every time I see them e.g. how’s the job hunt going?, have you got a job yet?, followed by the standard platitudes e.g. it’s ok, you’ll find a job soon, everything will be fine, you’ll find a job that you’ll actually like, etc.
I know they’d only be saying those things because they care and they want to be nice, but I don’t think they realise it just makes things more awkward and exasperating.
So I’ve avoided telling them, which is why I’m excited to see my old work friends because I have nothing to hide from them since they already know. To be honest, I’ve been avoiding going out with my usual group of friends as frequently as I used to, just so that there are less instances where I feel like I have to hide this from them. I don’t like hiding things, as I’m usually quite an open person, but I just can’t seem to summon the energy to have those conversations at the moment.
Anyway, I will hopefully get a job soon and be able to move on with my life.
the5amexperiment 